Bleed Like Me
by Doctor Sexy
Summary: Spencer Reid decides to check himself into the hospital when he feels he can't control his cutting. There he meets Derek Morgan a mysterious man who acts fine all day and cries all night. Morgan/Reid, possible JJ/Prentiss
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: If you were wondering, the title is a reference to Garbage's Bleed Like Me_._**

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"Here you go," the nurse said, handing a garbage bag full of essentials to Reid. She was about forty and wiry thin with blonde hair. "Put your clothes in there when you're done. And make sure you wash your hair."

Reid nodded. The nurse closed the bathroom door behind him. He took off his sweater vest and undid the buttons on his shirt. He took off his glasses and put them on the counter and stripped the rest his clothes off. He didn't see any soap or shampoo, so he figured he'd just rinse himself off. It wasn't till he was already in the shower, that it occurred to him that the soap might be in the garbage bag. He turned the shower off and soaking wet he dug through the bag to find a small bag of toiletries containing combination soap and shampoo, a small stick of deodorant, and a flimsy comb. He grabbed the soap and turned the shower back on and bathed himself.

_Spencer..._

Reid turned around to see where the source of the voice was. Nothing. _It's all in my head_, he thought.

_Spencer... Kill yourself._

"No!" Reid said out loud. For a second he was embarrassed that he had spoke to the voices, but then he remembered where he was and figured it didn't matter much.

He grabbed a towel from the garbage bag and dried off. He put on some deodorant and then the pyjamas they had left for him. He also put on the robe and tied it around his waist. Reid opened the door tentatively and looked out to see if anyone was there. He grabbed the garbage bag now full of his clothes and walked out into the hallway. No one there. He went to the offices nearby and knocked on the door.

The nurse came out. "Thank you," she said. "Now you'll be sharing a room with Derek Morgan. Your room's just this way."

Sharing a room? Reid wasn't sure if he could get used to that. He had lived alone ever since he was twelve and moved in Cal Tech. Now twenty-three, he was still unequipped for dealing with people.

The nurse lead him down a hallway to a room that said "Derek and Spencer." Even from outside the door, Morgan could hear crying. "Here you go. Get yourself some rest. We'll wake you up in the morning for meds."

"Okay," Spencer said, walking into his room. A large muscular man was lying in one of the beds, sobbing uncontrollably. Spencer laid down on the other bed and tried to get comfortable. He felt awkward and he didn't like to hear the other man's cries. "What's wrong?"

The man who must have been Derek Morgan sniffled a little and stopped crying. "It's complicated."

"I'm sorry," Spencer said, and he let the conversation drift away. After a while Morgan started crying again. Reid felt helpless, like he didn't know what to do. Then he thought of something.

He went out of the room and found the locker where he had kept a few of his personal belongings. His Kindle, a notebook, and... exactly what he was looking for.

Reid returned to his room and tapped Derek on the shoulder. "Here," he said. "It'll make you feel better." He handed Morgan a small rabbit.

Derek looked genuinely touched. "Thank you," he said, hugging the rabbit.

"No problem," Reid said. "His name is Mr. Fluffles."

Reid cuddled up into bed, and got comfortable and was satisfied when Morgan's crying had stopped.

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**A/N: Thanks for reading. If you're reviewing please be kind because this story is very personal to me and I put a lot into it.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Reid was awoken by a knock on the door. Without waiting for an answer, a nurse opened the door. Different nurse this time, a young woman with dark skin and short hair. "Spencer, it's time for your medication." Reid got up and followed her without bothering to put the flimsy slippers they gave him back on. He trod down the hall on bare feet to the nurses room.

"In the morning you take, 50 000 mg of Lamotrigne, 80 mg of Ziprasidone, and 60 mg of Prozzac, correct?"

Reid nodded and she handed him a small paper container holding four pills and a Dixie cup half full of water. He swallowed all of his pills at the same time like always and finished the water, then threw the cup and container in the garbage.

"Good," the nurse said. "There still should be breakfast if you're interested."

Spencer walked down to the dining room and discovered he was alone. He went to a table that held a bowl of fruit, a toaster, a pitcher of orange juice, and a bag of bread. He made himself toast and grabbed a banana and orange juice before sitting down at one of the tables. For a few minutes he sat in silence. The hospital wasn't all that different than being at home, he thought. He was used to sitting by himself.

The man named Derek walked into the dining room, and Spencer remembered that he shared a room, so it wasn't really that similar to being at home. For the first time he got a really good look at Derek. He was a big muscular man, appeared to be half African American, and he was very good-looking. Spencer blushed when he thought of that. He certainly didn't look like the type to be sobbing his eyes out.

Derek grabbed some food and sat right across from Reid, who found he had lost his appetite. "Hi," Derek said.

"Hi," Spencer said quietly. He didn't want to eat his toast anymore, so he started to peel his banana.

"I left your rabbit on your bed," Derek said.

Reid just nodded. He wasn't good at making conversation. It felt like no one ever liked him. He could talk for hours and hours about his obscure knowledge, but he had learned that no one wanted to hear that.

"I'm Morgan."

"Spencer."

"I'm sorry about last night," Morgan said.

"It's okay," Spencer said, shrugging.

A girl walked in the room and grabbed breakfast, but she didn't sit near Spencer, to his relief.

"So why are you here?" Morgan asked,

Reid's hand subconsciously touched his own thigh. "Did you know that even though The Beach Boys invented surf rock, only Dennis Wilson knew how to surf. He drowned."

"Fascinating," Morgan said, but Spencer thought he sounded sarcastic. Maybe if Reid bored Morgan enough he would stop talking to him.

"Did you know wildcats rarely succumb to hairballs because they eat grass clearing their digestive system?" Reid continued.

"I did not know that," Morgan said. "Did you know that _Little Shop of Horrors _was the fastest horror film ever made?"

"It took only two days to shoot because Corman wanted to finish before the next year where he would have to pay residual fees to all the actors," Spencer said.

"Are you some kind of genius?" Morgan asked.

"I have an IQ of 187," Reid said. "And I have three ."

"How old are you?" Morgan asked quizzically.

"Twenty-three."

"You look younger," Morgan commented.

"And you look older," Spencer said, knowing he was being petty and childish, but he couldn't help himself.

"That would be because I'm forty," Morgan said. "Why are you in here if you're so smart?"

"I don't want to talk about it," Spencer said and decided he was finished. He threw the rest of his food in the garbage can and put his dirty dishes away. Then he went back to his room. Of course, Morgan could follow him. It was his room too. But Reid felt like he needed to make a dramatic exit.

When he got to his room he decided to go back to bed. He was tired all the time from his medication and it was only nine thirty. He laid down under the thin blanket and closed his eyes. It was apparent immediately that he wouldn't be able to sleep. There was too much spinning around inside his head. He didn't want to be trapped here, and he didn't want to be like his mother, but that was exactly how he was ending up.

_Spencer... slit your wrists_.

Spencer hit himself on the head trying to make the voice shut up, but it repeated the same thing over and over again. _Think about something else, anything else_, he thought.

Then he was thinking about Morgan. He was a mystery. He seemed so normal so together this morning, but last night he was weeping like a child. What was his story? Spencer started to think about Morgan's strong arms and what it would feel like to be held in them.

_Spencer take the knife and cut all the way down your leg_.

That was not helping. He was so ashamed of his thoughts. Why did he have to be this way? Why couldn't he just be normal?

He must have fell asleep, because he woke up to another knock on the door. "Spencer? It's time to get up and start your day."

Spencer couldn't help but feel bitter. What else was there to do in here besides sleep? He walked to the lounge and looked around. There were three other people there. Morgan was sitting on the couch watching the television which was playing _The Talk_. Reid wondered how he could watch such drivel. Sitting beside him was a girl flipping through fashion magazines. She was about sixteen, blonde and sickly skinny. Anorexia nervosa, Reid thought. In the corner staring out the window was a woman with shoulder length brown hair. She was probably about the same age as Reid.

There wasn't much to do there. There was a bookshelf full of books and magazines, all the magazines geared towards women, and the books didn't look much better. Another bookshelf held board games and a couple decks of cards. That was out. Reid didn't want to associate with anyone else. He eyed up a table with a half completed puzzle. He sat in the chair next to it and started to put pieces in. Reid wasn't particularly spatial but he could remember the exact shape of the piece he was looking for, so it wasn't very challenging. Still there was something about sitting down and doing something that was relaxing.

"Spencer?" a man in a black suit with a red tie asked. "Can I see you for a minute?"

Reid figured no was not an acceptable answer. "Okay." The man lead him into a private room with a couch and a chair. Reid sat on the couch. But then got up again when the man extended a hand to be shook.

"I'm Dr. Aaron Hotchner," he said. "It's nice to meet you Spencer. I wanted to talk to you a little bit about why you're here."


End file.
